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All Within, part 2
Title: All Within
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J. K. Rowling.
Rating: PG13
Category: Angst
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Luna Lovegood
Summary: He had forgotten about the girl in the cellar. Lucius Malfoy is given a price, but Luna Lovegood is not an ordinary girl and perhaps Lucius isn't quite who he was either. Not exactly a romance. An AU-fic taking place after Deathly Hallows.
A wizard born to money and privileges are used to getting their orders obeyed. But there are also all those things that they never have to give orders about, because they are done before they know they want it. Lucius only action after dismissing his staff had been to make sure that food, already prepared, arrived, because that was the only thing he thought about. It wasn’t until the day he reached into his wardrobe for a clean shirt and only found an empty shelf, that he woke up to his surroundings. Surprised he looked around and suddenly saw the mess the bedroom had become. Discarded clothes had not been removed, but piled high on chairs. Dust lay everywhere and he watched it all with some amazement. He walked into his bathroom and noticed that it was quite grimy, though if he had known how a bathroom should be cleaned, he would have noticed that Luna must have kept the worst at bay here.
The man he saw in the mirror looked barely better than the room. How long had it been since he had actually looked at himself? He had let himself go, and he had long before the death of his family. Already shaken up from the daze he had more or less walked in since Hogwarts, Lucius could not stave off the thoughts on his family anymore. He leaned forward, his hand gripping the sink to keep him upright. It hurt so, it was like his chest constricted and tried to crush his heart. Every thought of them were unbearable, but to think of the day they died was the hardest. He forced himself to think of other times, the happiest times, instead. Narcissa, when they had only been married for a few weeks, giving him a secret smile over the dining table as his father droned on, over what Lucius couldn’t remember, because he had only seen the smile and the promises it held. Holding Draco to steady him on his first broom. One happy memory after another until the pain got so much that he punched his hand hard into the stone wall to make it stop.
The physical pain sobered him up. This was not how his life should have turned, but there was no excuse for looking like a beggar and living in something that was rapidly turning into a dump. He washed his face and then he carefully shaved and combed his hair. No more of this. He had his standards and though Narcissa was no longer there to look at him with approval and love, he could at least present himself as neatly as if she had.
Then he went to look for Luna. He realized that he had never thought on how she spent her days. She went up early, he usually woke up slightly when she slipped out of bed, and by the time he retreated for the night, she was always there before him. She must be doing something with her days, but what, Lucius couldn’t even fathom. He had a vague idea that teenage girls spent a lot of time making themselves as pretty as possible and that they giggled too much. He doubted very much that Luna ever giggled, least of all here. Feeling that it would be below his dignity to bellow her name in the hallways, he started to search for her methodically, opening door and after door. As he strode from room to room he cursed under his breath. Why hadn’t he kept her locked up? She had had free rein in his house for several weeks now, who knows what she could have destroyed while he was elsewhere. But he had been content that she was still there, that he had found her warm body in his bed every night. Well, that would change now.
He found her in an east-facing room at the ground floor. He had a dim recollection that the room had been used as a salon for visitors, strictly but tastefully furnished, so he was quite unprepared to what he stepped into. First he just saw a riot of colour, the sun streaming in through the huge windows, before he could make out any details. Luna had evidently collected ornaments and furniture from all over the house, picking styles and colours that ought to have crashed horrendously with each other, but oddly didn't. It was a warm and welcoming room and Lucius couldn't help to stop completely in his tracks. For a moment he felt that he had been apparated to someone else home, but then he spotted Luna curled up in a sofa by the window. She looked up from a book in her lap, clearly reading while she had her breakfast. On a low table beside her stood a teapot, a steaming cup of tea and a roll of bread or two. The somber dining room where the food appeared was clearly not to her taste and Lucius had to admit that the yellow sofa in the sunshine looked much more inviting.
As he watched her he realized that she had taken the question of clothes in hand as well. He hadn’t even remembered that he hadn’t provided her with anything but his shirt, but she was now neatly dressed in a pair of plain brown robes. Much too simple to have been anything else than something a servant had left behind, but she must have found the greenhouse too, as a yellow rose bloomed on her left shoulder. Her blond hair streamed down around her, blending itself with the sun. The effect was a bit odd, but also quite becoming and Lucius realized for the first time that she wasn’t just a pretty girl, but a young woman who could be striking if she wanted to.
He started to walk toward her, but halfway through the room he was distracted by a series of drawings that had been pinned to the expensive wallpaper. He stepped closer and saw that they depicted, by a remarkably talented hand, the people that must be Luna’s family and friend. He recognized without effort Potter himself as well as a couple of his friends. Everyone was smiling, sunny but unmoving faces that looked like they had no cares in the world. The only solemn face was that of Luna herself, the self-portrait stared without smile at Lucius and he hastily turned away from it. Only to meet the same steady gaze from the girl in the sofa. Luna had put the book aside and was looking up at him with an air of expectancy and saw that behind the teapot, another cup stood empty. She couldn’t possibly have known he would come today, how many days had she arranged for two to have tea? She had waited for him and he, he had suddenly stumbled into this haven, something totally unexpected where he could sit down beside Luna in the sunshine and have a cup of tea and let the quiet presence of this strange girl sooth him.
If he had ever stopped to think of what she must feel for him, he would have said that she must hate him. She was his prisoner, his to do with what he liked, so surely she had to, but she didn’t look like she did. She looked serious, but he could not see, and he realized that he had never seen, any hate or contempt in her clear eyes. Lucius turned suddenly very angry. How dared she? How could it be that he, the conqueror walked around wrapped in misery and she, who ought to be defeated, didn’t seems so at all? How dared she create such a pleasant room place for herself? How dared she look so composed?
He pulled her up, shaking her so violently that the rose flew away. “What is this? Who gave you leave to wreck havoc amongst my things?”
But even as he spoke, he knew that he made her an injustice. He had told her that she could do what she pleased with her days, and evidently she had. It was just that he hadn’t expected something like this. His fingers dug deeper into her arms, but even if it must be painful, Luna didn’t broker her silence and his anger surged.
”Why don’t you answer me? Why don’t you ever speak?”
He shook her again, but then he saw himself, a grown man, behaving like an irrational goon just because a girl had moved a few things. Lucius felt very acutely that he was making a fool of himself and he let go of her. He needed to compose himself and very quickly, without looking at Luna again, he left the room.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J. K. Rowling.
Rating: PG13
Category: Angst
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Luna Lovegood
Summary: He had forgotten about the girl in the cellar. Lucius Malfoy is given a price, but Luna Lovegood is not an ordinary girl and perhaps Lucius isn't quite who he was either. Not exactly a romance. An AU-fic taking place after Deathly Hallows.
A wizard born to money and privileges are used to getting their orders obeyed. But there are also all those things that they never have to give orders about, because they are done before they know they want it. Lucius only action after dismissing his staff had been to make sure that food, already prepared, arrived, because that was the only thing he thought about. It wasn’t until the day he reached into his wardrobe for a clean shirt and only found an empty shelf, that he woke up to his surroundings. Surprised he looked around and suddenly saw the mess the bedroom had become. Discarded clothes had not been removed, but piled high on chairs. Dust lay everywhere and he watched it all with some amazement. He walked into his bathroom and noticed that it was quite grimy, though if he had known how a bathroom should be cleaned, he would have noticed that Luna must have kept the worst at bay here.
The man he saw in the mirror looked barely better than the room. How long had it been since he had actually looked at himself? He had let himself go, and he had long before the death of his family. Already shaken up from the daze he had more or less walked in since Hogwarts, Lucius could not stave off the thoughts on his family anymore. He leaned forward, his hand gripping the sink to keep him upright. It hurt so, it was like his chest constricted and tried to crush his heart. Every thought of them were unbearable, but to think of the day they died was the hardest. He forced himself to think of other times, the happiest times, instead. Narcissa, when they had only been married for a few weeks, giving him a secret smile over the dining table as his father droned on, over what Lucius couldn’t remember, because he had only seen the smile and the promises it held. Holding Draco to steady him on his first broom. One happy memory after another until the pain got so much that he punched his hand hard into the stone wall to make it stop.
The physical pain sobered him up. This was not how his life should have turned, but there was no excuse for looking like a beggar and living in something that was rapidly turning into a dump. He washed his face and then he carefully shaved and combed his hair. No more of this. He had his standards and though Narcissa was no longer there to look at him with approval and love, he could at least present himself as neatly as if she had.
Then he went to look for Luna. He realized that he had never thought on how she spent her days. She went up early, he usually woke up slightly when she slipped out of bed, and by the time he retreated for the night, she was always there before him. She must be doing something with her days, but what, Lucius couldn’t even fathom. He had a vague idea that teenage girls spent a lot of time making themselves as pretty as possible and that they giggled too much. He doubted very much that Luna ever giggled, least of all here. Feeling that it would be below his dignity to bellow her name in the hallways, he started to search for her methodically, opening door and after door. As he strode from room to room he cursed under his breath. Why hadn’t he kept her locked up? She had had free rein in his house for several weeks now, who knows what she could have destroyed while he was elsewhere. But he had been content that she was still there, that he had found her warm body in his bed every night. Well, that would change now.
He found her in an east-facing room at the ground floor. He had a dim recollection that the room had been used as a salon for visitors, strictly but tastefully furnished, so he was quite unprepared to what he stepped into. First he just saw a riot of colour, the sun streaming in through the huge windows, before he could make out any details. Luna had evidently collected ornaments and furniture from all over the house, picking styles and colours that ought to have crashed horrendously with each other, but oddly didn't. It was a warm and welcoming room and Lucius couldn't help to stop completely in his tracks. For a moment he felt that he had been apparated to someone else home, but then he spotted Luna curled up in a sofa by the window. She looked up from a book in her lap, clearly reading while she had her breakfast. On a low table beside her stood a teapot, a steaming cup of tea and a roll of bread or two. The somber dining room where the food appeared was clearly not to her taste and Lucius had to admit that the yellow sofa in the sunshine looked much more inviting.
As he watched her he realized that she had taken the question of clothes in hand as well. He hadn’t even remembered that he hadn’t provided her with anything but his shirt, but she was now neatly dressed in a pair of plain brown robes. Much too simple to have been anything else than something a servant had left behind, but she must have found the greenhouse too, as a yellow rose bloomed on her left shoulder. Her blond hair streamed down around her, blending itself with the sun. The effect was a bit odd, but also quite becoming and Lucius realized for the first time that she wasn’t just a pretty girl, but a young woman who could be striking if she wanted to.
He started to walk toward her, but halfway through the room he was distracted by a series of drawings that had been pinned to the expensive wallpaper. He stepped closer and saw that they depicted, by a remarkably talented hand, the people that must be Luna’s family and friend. He recognized without effort Potter himself as well as a couple of his friends. Everyone was smiling, sunny but unmoving faces that looked like they had no cares in the world. The only solemn face was that of Luna herself, the self-portrait stared without smile at Lucius and he hastily turned away from it. Only to meet the same steady gaze from the girl in the sofa. Luna had put the book aside and was looking up at him with an air of expectancy and saw that behind the teapot, another cup stood empty. She couldn’t possibly have known he would come today, how many days had she arranged for two to have tea? She had waited for him and he, he had suddenly stumbled into this haven, something totally unexpected where he could sit down beside Luna in the sunshine and have a cup of tea and let the quiet presence of this strange girl sooth him.
If he had ever stopped to think of what she must feel for him, he would have said that she must hate him. She was his prisoner, his to do with what he liked, so surely she had to, but she didn’t look like she did. She looked serious, but he could not see, and he realized that he had never seen, any hate or contempt in her clear eyes. Lucius turned suddenly very angry. How dared she? How could it be that he, the conqueror walked around wrapped in misery and she, who ought to be defeated, didn’t seems so at all? How dared she create such a pleasant room place for herself? How dared she look so composed?
He pulled her up, shaking her so violently that the rose flew away. “What is this? Who gave you leave to wreck havoc amongst my things?”
But even as he spoke, he knew that he made her an injustice. He had told her that she could do what she pleased with her days, and evidently she had. It was just that he hadn’t expected something like this. His fingers dug deeper into her arms, but even if it must be painful, Luna didn’t broker her silence and his anger surged.
”Why don’t you answer me? Why don’t you ever speak?”
He shook her again, but then he saw himself, a grown man, behaving like an irrational goon just because a girl had moved a few things. Lucius felt very acutely that he was making a fool of himself and he let go of her. He needed to compose himself and very quickly, without looking at Luna again, he left the room.