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[personal profile] scripsi
If anyone wants to ask about another fic, here is the original post.

[personal profile] navaan asked about Only Forever, a Labyrinth-fic. I have not quoted the whole fic.

It's only forever
Not long at all

From the song Underground by David Bowie, and from the soundtrack of the movie. It was what I heard in my mind when the news of Bowie’s death reached me, and it made me rewatch the movie. The idea for this fic came then, even if it took some time to actually write it. I’ve been a fan of David Bowie since I was around thirteen. When Labyrinth came I was fifteen, and identifíed heavily with Sarah. And I found Bowie’s goblin king both attractive and a bit frightening.

Sarah woke up in the witching hour with a terrible feeling something was wrong. Sitting up in bed she tried to calm her beating heart, telling herself it had only been a bad dream. But the sense of wrongness didn’t feel like she had dreamt it, and fully awake the feeling of dread grew instead of fading away. She sat there, listening to the slow breathing of her partner. The night air felt cool and she shivered and thought she should to crawl back under the covers, cuddling close to the warm body next to her. But instead she looked out into the darkness, fighting a sudden urge to cry.

I was never a fan of the idea that magical things doesn’t really happen, but are only in the protagonist’s head. So even if there are plenty of indications the things that happens to Darah is just her imagination, I have always preferred to think it is not. And if not, well, then I think there ought to be some kind of bond between sarah and Jareth, even if she ejects him.

Out of nowhere a crystal sphere rolled past her and without thinking, she followed it out of the bedroom and down the stairs, the house dimly lit by the full moon.

Jareth was always fond of crystal balls.

The hall mirror loomed large, larger than usual in front of her, and Sarah could see her reflection. But it was not her usual face, she saw, but a reflection she hadn’t seen in thirty years. Her sixteen year old self was running towards her in a billowing white dress and with silver leaves in her long hair. Sarah walked up to the mirror to meet herself, but then it wasn’t herself she saw anymore, but Jareth.

In the movie things are constantly changing, not behaving the way they should be, so I wanted to add that to the fic. Also, Jareth is essentially a ghost. A mirror seemed a good place for him to be in.

“I was never gone, I was only unseen. I was bound by your wish, and you never called for me. But I’m not bound by anything anymore.”

In the movie, Jareth in the shape of an owl watched Sarah and her friends having a party at the end. I thought he might continue watching over her, unable to do anything more unless she allowed him to.

“If I had chosen to stay with you, would it have changed anything? Would you still be alive?”

“Everything will pass, Sarah. Even for a goblin king. My destiny was never ruled by any other choices than those I made myself. As your choices has shaped yours. Only you know if they were the right ones.“

I think we all, at some point in our life, wonder if we’ve made the right choices. And what would happen if we had taken another path.

Sarah thought of her life, of all the mistakes she had made, and everything she regretted, but also of all the decisions which had been just right, and of the joy and love she had.

“They were. I have been happy most of the time. It’s been more ordinary than I had hoped once, but I am happy. I don’t regret my choices.”

There are certainly things I sometime wish I could change. But they also took me to events I wouldn’t want to be without, so I don’t really regret my choices either.

“Were you always this wise?”

“Of course. But I was also always what you wanted the most. Young girls don’t care much for wisdom.”

Ties in to Jareth’s speech in the movie where he says he has bent over backwards to be the way Sarah wanted him to be.

“Don’t cry, Sarah. It’s only forever.”

Back to the lyrics again, but for me it’s also an echo of what my grandmother said to me the last time I saw her, at a point where we knew she only had days left to live; “Don’t be sad, Guldhjärtat.” (Her special nickname for me; it means golden heart.) But of course I was sad- how can you not?

She picked up the crystal ball and whispered.

“I wish, I wish you come back to me, Jareth.”

But the ball only lay heavy and cold in her hand and no one answered.

Another thing I think most of us do; wishing for our loved ones to come back, even if we know it’s impossible.
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