Remembrance, chapter 5
Sep. 28th, 2018 09:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scripsiI have written something!
Title: Remembrance
Fandom: Versailles
Rating: Explicit
Chapter: 5/7
Word Count: 1446
Characters Sophie de Clermont, Fabien Marchal, Claudine Masson??, Duc de Cassel
Pairings: Fabien Marchal/Sophie de Clermont, Fabien Marchal/Claudine Masson
Warnings: Non-con and abuse, which reference events in the show. Rape recovery. Suicidal thoughts.
Summary: Sophie de Clermont has fled Versailles, with nowhere to go and only her memories for company.
The whole fic on AO3
Sophie gasped; it felt like an effort to do such a simple thing as drawing breath. Her body, with a mind of its own, tried to jerk away from Fabien’s hard grip, at the same time her thoughts frantically told her to calm down. She managed another laboured breath, then an easier third, and she calmed enough to manage to speak.
“Let me go!”
To her surprise Fabien released her, and she took a few quick steps away from him. He didn’t try to stop her, only moved, so he was between her and the bridge. He raised his hand in a calming gesture.
“I am sorry I startled you. But you were leaning so far over the edge I was afraid you would tumble over by my voice alone, and then I wouldn’t have been able to reach you in time.”
Still breathing hard, Sophie nodded. Away from the hypnotising movements of the water, she could only think of how cold it would be to fall into it, and how horrible it would be to drown. Fabien was right even though he had frightened her.
“Have you come to take me back to Versailles?”
“Yes.”
“And then? What will happen to me then?”
“I don’t know. The Princess Palatine wants her lady-in-waiting back, but I don’t know the mind of the King.”
He motioned to her to move and side by side they walked back to Sophie’s’ lodgings. She had dreaded the moment when Fabien would find her, but now she felt calm. No more agonising over impossible choices; her fate had passed into his hands, and it surprised her she didn’t feel afraid. She knew what Fabien was capable of doing, but she also knew that anything he subjected her to, he would not do out of malice or cruel pleasure. Now when the shock of being so suddenly seized at the bridge had abated, she felt strangely happy to see Fabien again, no matter what it meant for her.
To her surprise there was only Fabien’s black horse tied outside the house; he had come alone and not in the company of his men.
Back inside, the room she had lived in for the past weeks looked even more dingy and small than it had looked when she had left it. Despite Fabien’s simple clothes and travel-stained cloak, he still looked graceful and neat; a reminder of the well-ordered world Sophie had left. Fabien helped her remove her cloak before he threw his own mantle and gloves down on her bed. He looked around her shabby room with a disdain mirroring her own.
“This is hardly a room suitable for your station.”
“Once you would have said it was too good for the daughter of a traitor.” Sophie turned and looked Fabien straight in the face. “And I think you agree it’s much too grand for a woman who has killed her husband.”
Fabien only shrugged. “Cassel was strangled. I saw the marks on his throats, and they were too large for your small fingers.”
“But he was dying! He wouldn’t have been so weak if I had not done what I did!”
“He was an old man, and Thomas was young and fit. Cassel may have been too strong for you, but never for a man young enough to be his son.”
Sophie walked up to Fabien, frustration making her steps short and quick. “Why won’t you admit to the truth? You know very well I poisoned my husband. Why do you refuse to acknowledge it? You, of all people, should be happy to drag me to the execution block as soon as you found out. Put me where I belong.”
Fabien winced. at this onslaught of words. “Because it shouldn’t have been you who killed Cassel. I should have done it. I know what he was, I knew what he was capable of. And I still left you to deal with him alone. I told myself he might be kinder to you. I hoped he would. You are lovely and kind- everyone warms to you, and I thought he might too.”
He paused the look on his face almost apprehensive. “But then I heard what you told Claudine, and I knew I had only deluded myself. And by then I was banished from court and useless to you.”
Sophie froze. She could feel cold sweat on her brow, numbness spreading throughout her body.
“You heard?” she whispered. She remembered Fabien’s anger when she was leaving Claudine’s house. Oh, he had been angry at her, but not for the reason she had thought. This was so much worse. For a moment Sophie thought she would faint, she staggered blindly towards a chair and sat down before her knees gave way. Her stomach clenched, sending a wave of nausea through her and she had to swallow several times before being able to speak again.
“You knew? How can you stand to be here with me? How can you bear to even look at me.” Sophie buried her head in her hands. “You must find me so disgusting!”
Sophie could hear Fabien’s steps as he approached her, and she shrank back in her chair, certain he would yank her up on her feet and shake her, but nothing happened.
“Sophie, I-”
“Oh, please, leave me alone. I never wanted you to know. No one was to know; only Claudine. All the things he made me do; you must find me repulsive to even look at.”
“Sophie, why would I?”
But Sophie was too distressed to listen. “No one must ever know. Can’t you see? Thomas wouldn’t have wanted to touch me if he had. No man could.”
“Look at me!” A tone of command crept into Fabien’s voice, and Sophie automatically obeyed and raised her head. Tears filled her eyes and Fabien was only a blur in front of her.
“Why would you think I find you disgusting when none of it was your fault?
“Can’t you see? It must be something wrong with me. Benoit who didn’t want me because I was useless. Cassel, who was a monster and then Gaston wanted me, and he was vile too. Like they saw I was worth nothing more. I thought Thomas was a good man, but he was a spy and a murderer. There must be something in me which makes it impossible for a good man to love me. And I can’t love anyone back. I tried so hard for Thomas, but I couldn’t. My heart is cold, and my body too- cold and useless.”
“It’s not true. They have done cruel things to you, but none of the blame belongs to you.”
I don’t believe you. Then tell me why no good man ever loves me. A man like you. It couldn’t happen.”
“How could I ever believe you would welcome my love? I never thought it possible. And even more unimaginable you could gift your love to me.”
“But I can. I do.”
When it dawned on Sophie what she had told her hand flew to her mouth, too late to make her words unsaid. She watched Fabien in alarm, but he only looked he looked a little sad. Before he could respond to her, there was a sharp knock on the door and then Sophie’s landlady burst in. There was a look on her face of malicious glee, quickly transformed to surprise when she saw Sophie’s stricken face. She had never made any secret she believed Sophie to be waiting for her lover, and now Sophie thought she had planned to catch two immoral lovers in the act. Now Fabien stalked toward her, and the old lady started to look like she wished she had stayed away.
“I was just about to call you,” Fabien said. This room is dismal, and Madame wants her sheets changed to the best your house can provide. And a meal as soon as you can serve it. A good meal- it is clear to me you have not fed your guest properly.”
“I’ve given Madame what she has paid for,” the landlady muttered, but Fabien gave her his best menacing stare, and she quickly added. “The very best Sir, right away.”
She disappeared with a haste which almost made Sophie smile despite it all. Fabien turned back to her.
“It’s too late to travel today. I need to get my horse properly stabled for tonight.”
Sophie rose, the interruption had given her a little time to compose herself. “You are not afraid I will try to run away again?”
A ghost of a smile flickered over Fabien’s face.
“Not anymore,” he said before he left.
Title: Remembrance
Fandom: Versailles
Rating: Explicit
Chapter: 5/7
Word Count: 1446
Characters Sophie de Clermont, Fabien Marchal, Claudine Masson??, Duc de Cassel
Pairings: Fabien Marchal/Sophie de Clermont, Fabien Marchal/Claudine Masson
Warnings: Non-con and abuse, which reference events in the show. Rape recovery. Suicidal thoughts.
Summary: Sophie de Clermont has fled Versailles, with nowhere to go and only her memories for company.
The whole fic on AO3
Sophie gasped; it felt like an effort to do such a simple thing as drawing breath. Her body, with a mind of its own, tried to jerk away from Fabien’s hard grip, at the same time her thoughts frantically told her to calm down. She managed another laboured breath, then an easier third, and she calmed enough to manage to speak.
“Let me go!”
To her surprise Fabien released her, and she took a few quick steps away from him. He didn’t try to stop her, only moved, so he was between her and the bridge. He raised his hand in a calming gesture.
“I am sorry I startled you. But you were leaning so far over the edge I was afraid you would tumble over by my voice alone, and then I wouldn’t have been able to reach you in time.”
Still breathing hard, Sophie nodded. Away from the hypnotising movements of the water, she could only think of how cold it would be to fall into it, and how horrible it would be to drown. Fabien was right even though he had frightened her.
“Have you come to take me back to Versailles?”
“Yes.”
“And then? What will happen to me then?”
“I don’t know. The Princess Palatine wants her lady-in-waiting back, but I don’t know the mind of the King.”
He motioned to her to move and side by side they walked back to Sophie’s’ lodgings. She had dreaded the moment when Fabien would find her, but now she felt calm. No more agonising over impossible choices; her fate had passed into his hands, and it surprised her she didn’t feel afraid. She knew what Fabien was capable of doing, but she also knew that anything he subjected her to, he would not do out of malice or cruel pleasure. Now when the shock of being so suddenly seized at the bridge had abated, she felt strangely happy to see Fabien again, no matter what it meant for her.
To her surprise there was only Fabien’s black horse tied outside the house; he had come alone and not in the company of his men.
Back inside, the room she had lived in for the past weeks looked even more dingy and small than it had looked when she had left it. Despite Fabien’s simple clothes and travel-stained cloak, he still looked graceful and neat; a reminder of the well-ordered world Sophie had left. Fabien helped her remove her cloak before he threw his own mantle and gloves down on her bed. He looked around her shabby room with a disdain mirroring her own.
“This is hardly a room suitable for your station.”
“Once you would have said it was too good for the daughter of a traitor.” Sophie turned and looked Fabien straight in the face. “And I think you agree it’s much too grand for a woman who has killed her husband.”
Fabien only shrugged. “Cassel was strangled. I saw the marks on his throats, and they were too large for your small fingers.”
“But he was dying! He wouldn’t have been so weak if I had not done what I did!”
“He was an old man, and Thomas was young and fit. Cassel may have been too strong for you, but never for a man young enough to be his son.”
Sophie walked up to Fabien, frustration making her steps short and quick. “Why won’t you admit to the truth? You know very well I poisoned my husband. Why do you refuse to acknowledge it? You, of all people, should be happy to drag me to the execution block as soon as you found out. Put me where I belong.”
Fabien winced. at this onslaught of words. “Because it shouldn’t have been you who killed Cassel. I should have done it. I know what he was, I knew what he was capable of. And I still left you to deal with him alone. I told myself he might be kinder to you. I hoped he would. You are lovely and kind- everyone warms to you, and I thought he might too.”
He paused the look on his face almost apprehensive. “But then I heard what you told Claudine, and I knew I had only deluded myself. And by then I was banished from court and useless to you.”
Sophie froze. She could feel cold sweat on her brow, numbness spreading throughout her body.
“You heard?” she whispered. She remembered Fabien’s anger when she was leaving Claudine’s house. Oh, he had been angry at her, but not for the reason she had thought. This was so much worse. For a moment Sophie thought she would faint, she staggered blindly towards a chair and sat down before her knees gave way. Her stomach clenched, sending a wave of nausea through her and she had to swallow several times before being able to speak again.
“You knew? How can you stand to be here with me? How can you bear to even look at me.” Sophie buried her head in her hands. “You must find me so disgusting!”
Sophie could hear Fabien’s steps as he approached her, and she shrank back in her chair, certain he would yank her up on her feet and shake her, but nothing happened.
“Sophie, I-”
“Oh, please, leave me alone. I never wanted you to know. No one was to know; only Claudine. All the things he made me do; you must find me repulsive to even look at.”
“Sophie, why would I?”
But Sophie was too distressed to listen. “No one must ever know. Can’t you see? Thomas wouldn’t have wanted to touch me if he had. No man could.”
“Look at me!” A tone of command crept into Fabien’s voice, and Sophie automatically obeyed and raised her head. Tears filled her eyes and Fabien was only a blur in front of her.
“Why would you think I find you disgusting when none of it was your fault?
“Can’t you see? It must be something wrong with me. Benoit who didn’t want me because I was useless. Cassel, who was a monster and then Gaston wanted me, and he was vile too. Like they saw I was worth nothing more. I thought Thomas was a good man, but he was a spy and a murderer. There must be something in me which makes it impossible for a good man to love me. And I can’t love anyone back. I tried so hard for Thomas, but I couldn’t. My heart is cold, and my body too- cold and useless.”
“It’s not true. They have done cruel things to you, but none of the blame belongs to you.”
I don’t believe you. Then tell me why no good man ever loves me. A man like you. It couldn’t happen.”
“How could I ever believe you would welcome my love? I never thought it possible. And even more unimaginable you could gift your love to me.”
“But I can. I do.”
When it dawned on Sophie what she had told her hand flew to her mouth, too late to make her words unsaid. She watched Fabien in alarm, but he only looked he looked a little sad. Before he could respond to her, there was a sharp knock on the door and then Sophie’s landlady burst in. There was a look on her face of malicious glee, quickly transformed to surprise when she saw Sophie’s stricken face. She had never made any secret she believed Sophie to be waiting for her lover, and now Sophie thought she had planned to catch two immoral lovers in the act. Now Fabien stalked toward her, and the old lady started to look like she wished she had stayed away.
“I was just about to call you,” Fabien said. This room is dismal, and Madame wants her sheets changed to the best your house can provide. And a meal as soon as you can serve it. A good meal- it is clear to me you have not fed your guest properly.”
“I’ve given Madame what she has paid for,” the landlady muttered, but Fabien gave her his best menacing stare, and she quickly added. “The very best Sir, right away.”
She disappeared with a haste which almost made Sophie smile despite it all. Fabien turned back to her.
“It’s too late to travel today. I need to get my horse properly stabled for tonight.”
Sophie rose, the interruption had given her a little time to compose herself. “You are not afraid I will try to run away again?”
A ghost of a smile flickered over Fabien’s face.
“Not anymore,” he said before he left.
