Requesting Comfort
Sep. 3rd, 2016 09:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scripsiDear Diary. Today I removed all my clothes from my wardrobes and drawers and the attic and wherever and sorted them. Then I put it all back. I have weeded out six bags of clothes and fourteen pair of shoes. I’m tired.
There was also the author reveal on Rarepair Fest, so now I can post my fic here.
Title: Requesting Comfort
Fandom: Agent Carter
Rating: Teenage and up
Genre: H/C
Word Count: 1712
Characters/pairings: Peggy Carter/Ana Jarvis/Edwin Jarvis
Warnings: None
Summary: Sometimes you need friends to be a little more than friends.
AN: Written for Rarepair Fest 2016. Warm thanks topaynesgrey for beta.
Years later, Peggy could only remember fragments of the first few hours after the disaster at Isodyne Energy. Mr Jarvis and Ana fussed over her, offering a number of comforts. She declined all of them except a hot bath, claiming the need for sleep early in the night. But in her bedroom she couldn’t even bear to lie down on the bed. She sat in the armchair, staring at the pristinely made bed. The sheets would be cold, un-warmed by another body and there would be no arms to welcome her. Peggy had slept alone for a long time and had thought she had grown used to it. But tonight the thought of a lonely bed felt unbearable.
Dr. Wilkes was dead, and sad as it was it ought not to affect her this much. She had only known him for a few days, he was still mostly a stranger to her. But she had liked him and to her surprise she had relaxed and had fun in his company. For a few short hours she had been just Peg, a girl on a date, feeling like new doors were opening for her. Now they had closed, banged shut for what had only really been a promise of what-if’s to come. A death as sudden and shocking as Steve’s had been, and she had been left alone. Again.
For hours she sat there, staring into nothing and the surrounding silence grew heavier and heavier, like a weight pressing down on her. Abruptly Peggy rose and strode out of the room. She walked quickly, paced through Howard’s mansion in long, hurried strides. There was no purpose or destination, only the need to move. If she walked fast enough, then perhaps she could leave this terrible feeling of numbness behind her.
When she spotted a telephone on a sideboard, Peggy stopped. Her hand hesitated over it, then she slowly picked up the receiver. If she called Daniel, he would do his best to make sure she felt better. He would talk to her, and he would offer to come over to keep her company. It would be very easy to phone him and ask him to come. But Daniel had other commitments now. It wasn’t fair on him, not to mention his pretty nurse. It was much better to let him get on with his life. Surely it was all for the best to keep herself at arm’s length away. Less complicated for all of them. She replaced the receiver, stared at it for a moment longer, then she returned to her impatient pacing and her thoughts.
She was good at being alone, wasn’t she? It was a safe place to be in and she had learned to appreciate solitude. Peggy met the disdain of her male colleagues with cheerful efficiency, never letting anyone know she noticed the slights. There was no need for their approval, she had proved over and over again she was their equal. No, more than that, she was better at what she did than most of them could ever hope to be.
Friends and lovers abandoned you, it was better to grieve alone. Better to let no one close. She would be fine and she needed no one. And she was suddenly standing outside the bedroom of the Jarvises with no idea on how she had gotten there. Peggy stared at the polished wood of the door. They had urged her to call them if she needed anything, but they couldn’t have meant for her to actually walk into the privacy of their bedroom. Well, it didn’t matter, they would never know she had been standing there, and she was leaving now.
Then she knocked on the door, a timid knock which still seemed to echo between the walls. In Peggy’s ears it sounded like she had banged on it with her fists. The door opened almost at once, but to her it felt like she waited an eternity. Plenty of time to think of how she was invading a personal sphere. She had no right to impose herself on Mr. Jarvis and Ana like this. They must be asleep by now and she really, really ought to leave.
Then the door was opened by Mr. Jarvis, dressed in an old, clearly well-loved dressing gown, with his unusually tousled hair as he looked down on her. Behind him Peggy could see Ana, tying the sash of a silk robe in a bright Kingfisher blue shade. With her long red hair loose she looked, even more than usual, like a colourful and pretty bird.
“Miss Carter! What can I do for you?”
It was easiest to fall back on formality.
“May I request some comfort, please, Mr. Jarvis?”
“Always, Miss Carter.”
And Peggy forgot she wasn’t a hugger and stepped into his welcoming arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her face into the warm woolen folds of his dressing gown. He hugged her close, stroking her hair. Peggy took a deep breath to say something, but instead the tears came. Angry, painful sobs which racked her whole body. Then Ana wrapped her arms around her from the back, and Peggy was standing safe in a cocoon of Jarvises.
“Cry it all out”, Ana whispered in her ear. “It will feel better afterwards.”
And Peggy cried as Ana put her cheek to her back, humming softly and Mr. Jarvis murmured “There, there”, over and over. It felt like she could have cried forever, but eventually she had no tears left. Exhausted she straightened, stepping away from the embrace.
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I going now.”
“Nonsense!”
Ana took her hand and led her to the bed and made Peggy sit down on it. Then she bustled around and returned with a bowl of hot water and a washcloth. She’d washed Peggy’s face and gave her a clean handkerchief so she could blow her nose. Then, Ana gave her a towel, dampened with cold water and smelling faintly of lavender. Peggy buried her face in the cool cloth; it felt soothing against the hot skin. She felt very tired and couldn’t muster up the energy to protest against Ana tending to her. Ana climbed in the bed behind her and Peggy could feel a soft tug in her hair as she combed it with a soft brush. Peggy relaxed, allowing Ana to slowly and carefully brush through her hair.
“My mother always told me to brush my hair with a hundred strokes every evening,” Ana said.
Peggy smiled and was surprised she still knew how to make her lips twist the right way. “So did mine, but I always cheated.”
Mr. Jarvis had sat down beside Peggy, and when Ana finished her brushing, she sat herself on the other side and took Peggy’s hand.
“Stay with us tonight.”
“I couldn’t…”
“You should not be alone, and is there a better place than with someone who loves you? And Mr. Jarvis loves you very much.”
Peggy could feel herself blush and she glanced at Mr. Jarvis who had turned brick red.
“Well, not in that way, of course,” she said. “We are just very good friends, you understand that, don’t you, Mrs. Jarvis? I would never try to- I mean-”
But she wasn’t sure what she was trying to explain and Ana seemed as unperturbed as she had in the morning when she had found them wrestling on the ground.
“Of course he loves you that way. He fell for you the first time he saw you.” She smiled fondly at her husband. “Mr. Jarvis has always had a very decisive nature.”
Peggy didn’t know what to say. Ana squeezed her hand.
“My dear. Life is short and uncertain. Even when you believe you are safe, something can happen that forever will change your life. There are so many, friends and family, I wish I could meet again to have the chance to say and do what I thought I had all the time in the world to make certain. But it’s too late now, they are all gone.”
Ana was still smiling, but in her eyes Peggy could see sadness and she realised it was always there. Behind Ana’s cheerful smile and perky ways, there were the losses she had to bear with her forever. As Peggy herself must do.
“Love comes in so many shapes and forms, Miss Carter. I have learned to take my happiness where I find it, and I have no time for jealousy. One has to grasp the joys life offers and make the most of it. I do, and I’m happy. I would very much like to see you happy too.”
And she leaned forward and kissed Peggy on the mouth. Her lips were soft, but determined and after a few moment’s hesitation Peggy kissed her back. Then she turned to Jarvis, whose face had not quite resumed its normal colour.
“Is it really true?”
He took Peggy free hand and kissed it.
“Miss Carter, I would do anything for you.” He looked at his wife and she reached out her free hand to his, and he clasped it. “We would do anything for you.”
Peggy’s voice trembled. “Well then, may I request some more comfort, Mr. Jarvis?”
Peggy woke up at dawn. Two sets of arms held her close, Ana’s head was resting on her arm, the long, soft hair spilling over them both. Jarvis slept against Peggy’s back, snoring softly into her neck. Peggy carefully disentangled herself, sliding down the bed in a somewhat awkward motion so she wouldn’t disturb her still sleeping company. In the door she turned around and watched them. They had already moved closer to each other, the space Peggy had occupied already gone. Without waking up, Jarvis stretched out an arm and pulled Ana closer. Peggy smiled. The terrible wound inside her heart was still there, but she thought it might have closed over a little. She had been invited to share the happiness Ana and Mr. Jarvis had with each other, if only for a night. Perhaps it would never happen again, but Peggy felt that is she ever needed it, they would always welcome her back.
END
There was also the author reveal on Rarepair Fest, so now I can post my fic here.
Title: Requesting Comfort
Fandom: Agent Carter
Rating: Teenage and up
Genre: H/C
Word Count: 1712
Characters/pairings: Peggy Carter/Ana Jarvis/Edwin Jarvis
Warnings: None
Summary: Sometimes you need friends to be a little more than friends.
AN: Written for Rarepair Fest 2016. Warm thanks to
paynesgrey for beta.Years later, Peggy could only remember fragments of the first few hours after the disaster at Isodyne Energy. Mr Jarvis and Ana fussed over her, offering a number of comforts. She declined all of them except a hot bath, claiming the need for sleep early in the night. But in her bedroom she couldn’t even bear to lie down on the bed. She sat in the armchair, staring at the pristinely made bed. The sheets would be cold, un-warmed by another body and there would be no arms to welcome her. Peggy had slept alone for a long time and had thought she had grown used to it. But tonight the thought of a lonely bed felt unbearable.
Dr. Wilkes was dead, and sad as it was it ought not to affect her this much. She had only known him for a few days, he was still mostly a stranger to her. But she had liked him and to her surprise she had relaxed and had fun in his company. For a few short hours she had been just Peg, a girl on a date, feeling like new doors were opening for her. Now they had closed, banged shut for what had only really been a promise of what-if’s to come. A death as sudden and shocking as Steve’s had been, and she had been left alone. Again.
For hours she sat there, staring into nothing and the surrounding silence grew heavier and heavier, like a weight pressing down on her. Abruptly Peggy rose and strode out of the room. She walked quickly, paced through Howard’s mansion in long, hurried strides. There was no purpose or destination, only the need to move. If she walked fast enough, then perhaps she could leave this terrible feeling of numbness behind her.
When she spotted a telephone on a sideboard, Peggy stopped. Her hand hesitated over it, then she slowly picked up the receiver. If she called Daniel, he would do his best to make sure she felt better. He would talk to her, and he would offer to come over to keep her company. It would be very easy to phone him and ask him to come. But Daniel had other commitments now. It wasn’t fair on him, not to mention his pretty nurse. It was much better to let him get on with his life. Surely it was all for the best to keep herself at arm’s length away. Less complicated for all of them. She replaced the receiver, stared at it for a moment longer, then she returned to her impatient pacing and her thoughts.
She was good at being alone, wasn’t she? It was a safe place to be in and she had learned to appreciate solitude. Peggy met the disdain of her male colleagues with cheerful efficiency, never letting anyone know she noticed the slights. There was no need for their approval, she had proved over and over again she was their equal. No, more than that, she was better at what she did than most of them could ever hope to be.
Friends and lovers abandoned you, it was better to grieve alone. Better to let no one close. She would be fine and she needed no one. And she was suddenly standing outside the bedroom of the Jarvises with no idea on how she had gotten there. Peggy stared at the polished wood of the door. They had urged her to call them if she needed anything, but they couldn’t have meant for her to actually walk into the privacy of their bedroom. Well, it didn’t matter, they would never know she had been standing there, and she was leaving now.
Then she knocked on the door, a timid knock which still seemed to echo between the walls. In Peggy’s ears it sounded like she had banged on it with her fists. The door opened almost at once, but to her it felt like she waited an eternity. Plenty of time to think of how she was invading a personal sphere. She had no right to impose herself on Mr. Jarvis and Ana like this. They must be asleep by now and she really, really ought to leave.
Then the door was opened by Mr. Jarvis, dressed in an old, clearly well-loved dressing gown, with his unusually tousled hair as he looked down on her. Behind him Peggy could see Ana, tying the sash of a silk robe in a bright Kingfisher blue shade. With her long red hair loose she looked, even more than usual, like a colourful and pretty bird.
“Miss Carter! What can I do for you?”
It was easiest to fall back on formality.
“May I request some comfort, please, Mr. Jarvis?”
“Always, Miss Carter.”
And Peggy forgot she wasn’t a hugger and stepped into his welcoming arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her face into the warm woolen folds of his dressing gown. He hugged her close, stroking her hair. Peggy took a deep breath to say something, but instead the tears came. Angry, painful sobs which racked her whole body. Then Ana wrapped her arms around her from the back, and Peggy was standing safe in a cocoon of Jarvises.
“Cry it all out”, Ana whispered in her ear. “It will feel better afterwards.”
And Peggy cried as Ana put her cheek to her back, humming softly and Mr. Jarvis murmured “There, there”, over and over. It felt like she could have cried forever, but eventually she had no tears left. Exhausted she straightened, stepping away from the embrace.
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I going now.”
“Nonsense!”
Ana took her hand and led her to the bed and made Peggy sit down on it. Then she bustled around and returned with a bowl of hot water and a washcloth. She’d washed Peggy’s face and gave her a clean handkerchief so she could blow her nose. Then, Ana gave her a towel, dampened with cold water and smelling faintly of lavender. Peggy buried her face in the cool cloth; it felt soothing against the hot skin. She felt very tired and couldn’t muster up the energy to protest against Ana tending to her. Ana climbed in the bed behind her and Peggy could feel a soft tug in her hair as she combed it with a soft brush. Peggy relaxed, allowing Ana to slowly and carefully brush through her hair.
“My mother always told me to brush my hair with a hundred strokes every evening,” Ana said.
Peggy smiled and was surprised she still knew how to make her lips twist the right way. “So did mine, but I always cheated.”
Mr. Jarvis had sat down beside Peggy, and when Ana finished her brushing, she sat herself on the other side and took Peggy’s hand.
“Stay with us tonight.”
“I couldn’t…”
“You should not be alone, and is there a better place than with someone who loves you? And Mr. Jarvis loves you very much.”
Peggy could feel herself blush and she glanced at Mr. Jarvis who had turned brick red.
“Well, not in that way, of course,” she said. “We are just very good friends, you understand that, don’t you, Mrs. Jarvis? I would never try to- I mean-”
But she wasn’t sure what she was trying to explain and Ana seemed as unperturbed as she had in the morning when she had found them wrestling on the ground.
“Of course he loves you that way. He fell for you the first time he saw you.” She smiled fondly at her husband. “Mr. Jarvis has always had a very decisive nature.”
Peggy didn’t know what to say. Ana squeezed her hand.
“My dear. Life is short and uncertain. Even when you believe you are safe, something can happen that forever will change your life. There are so many, friends and family, I wish I could meet again to have the chance to say and do what I thought I had all the time in the world to make certain. But it’s too late now, they are all gone.”
Ana was still smiling, but in her eyes Peggy could see sadness and she realised it was always there. Behind Ana’s cheerful smile and perky ways, there were the losses she had to bear with her forever. As Peggy herself must do.
“Love comes in so many shapes and forms, Miss Carter. I have learned to take my happiness where I find it, and I have no time for jealousy. One has to grasp the joys life offers and make the most of it. I do, and I’m happy. I would very much like to see you happy too.”
And she leaned forward and kissed Peggy on the mouth. Her lips were soft, but determined and after a few moment’s hesitation Peggy kissed her back. Then she turned to Jarvis, whose face had not quite resumed its normal colour.
“Is it really true?”
He took Peggy free hand and kissed it.
“Miss Carter, I would do anything for you.” He looked at his wife and she reached out her free hand to his, and he clasped it. “We would do anything for you.”
Peggy’s voice trembled. “Well then, may I request some more comfort, Mr. Jarvis?”
Peggy woke up at dawn. Two sets of arms held her close, Ana’s head was resting on her arm, the long, soft hair spilling over them both. Jarvis slept against Peggy’s back, snoring softly into her neck. Peggy carefully disentangled herself, sliding down the bed in a somewhat awkward motion so she wouldn’t disturb her still sleeping company. In the door she turned around and watched them. They had already moved closer to each other, the space Peggy had occupied already gone. Without waking up, Jarvis stretched out an arm and pulled Ana closer. Peggy smiled. The terrible wound inside her heart was still there, but she thought it might have closed over a little. She had been invited to share the happiness Ana and Mr. Jarvis had with each other, if only for a night. Perhaps it would never happen again, but Peggy felt that is she ever needed it, they would always welcome her back.
END
