My Pleasure, Miss Shaw, chapter 4
Mar. 19th, 2015 12:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scripsiTitle: My Pleasure, Miss Shaw
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Doctor Who, I just play with them for fun.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Character: The Master (Delgado), Elizabeth Shaw, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, The Third Doctor
Pairing: The Master/Elizabeth Shaw
Length: Chapter 4/4
Rating: R
Warnings: For this chapter, aftermath of abuse, for the fic in general; BDSM, NC
Summary: After Elizabeth Shaw has left the Doctor she is contacted by an intriguing stranger who she thinks wants her scientific expertise, but in reality he wants far more.
AN: Exit the Master; enter the Brigadier and finally, the Doctor. For Liz things get a bit better. I hope you have enjoyed my story, even if it is a rather dark, personally I had great fun writing it.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Liz stood up, her motions slow and stiff as the sound of a TARDIS leaving died away. She blinked away the tears and looked around her. It was cold, and the ground was frozen, here and there spotted with patches of snow. Not May anymore, but if it was months since she had last been on Earth, or years, she couldn’t know. She only knew that she was meant to find the Doctor, so whatever year she had arrived at, he must still be around. She spotted a road and went down to it, looking around as she did so to see if she recognized her surroundings. She rather thought it was the road to UNIT and as her clothes were much too thin for the weather, she assumed that someone would come soon. The Master may not care for her comfort, but he certainly wouldn’t want her to freeze to death before she had reached the Doctor.
So she started to walk in the direction she thought was the right one and within a few minutes a car passed her, only to stop abruptly with screeching brakes. A man jumped out and ran toward her and to Liz relief she saw that it was the Brigadier, looking very much the same as he had when she last saw him.
“Miss Shaw, Liz!” He cried. “It’s you!” He looked at her with relief and worry, removing his greatcoat, wrapping it around her, so she was suddenly engulfed in warmth and a fleeting scent of eau de cologne and then she was whisked into the car.
“I need to see the Doctor,” Liz told the Brigadier, and he nodded.
“We are not far from UNIT; I’ll take you to him as soon as we arrive.” His look of worried concern deepened, and he reached for her cold hands, rubbing them softly. They were so warm; she had forgotten how warm human hands were.
“Are you all right, Miss Shaw?”
No, she thought, but she only said “How long have I been gone?”
“Seven months. Is that how long it has been for you too?.”
“I don’t know. Do I look different?”
The Brigadier frowned in a way that told her she had changed a lot, but he only said. “You don’t look older. But I think I should take you to sickbay first before you see the Doctor. You don’t look well at all.”
“No!” Panic roared awake in an instant. “I must see the Doctor. As soon as possible.”
He backed instantly, clearly alarmed by the rising hysteria in her voice. “All right, all right, the Doctor first. But the sickbay after, Miss Shaw, I insist.”
He raised a hand and put it on her shoulder, meant for comfort, she supposed, but Liz couldn’t stop herself from flinching away and the Brigadier snatched back his arm. “Miss Shaw, what did he do to you?”
But she just shook her head, and he didn’t insist and no one said anything more the last few minutes of the car ride.
At UNIT she was ushered through the well-known corridors, the Brigadier hovered over her shoulder as she near-ran to the Doctor’s laboratory. He and the wide-eyed child Jo was leaning over some contraption, but both looked up in alarm when she burst in through the door. Jo’s face split in a delighted grin, but the Doctor looked very grave. As soon as Liz saw him, words started to spill from her mouth. She talked fast, telling the Doctor everything that had happened to her since the day she had first met the Master.
The Doctor’s look of dread deepened and he turned to The Brigadier and Jo. “Out, both of you. And no listening at the door either. I want to be completely alone with Liz and do not disturb us!”
They reluctantly left, and the Brigadier turned to say something, but the Doctor closed the door in his face. He locked it carefully before turned back to Liz. She had not stopped speaking; there was so much to tell him.
“Stop it Liz,” he begged, but she couldn’t.
He walked to and fro in the room, clearly agitated by her story and asked her again to stop. Liz poured out her story, stumbling over her word, but never pausing. Eventually the Doctor sat, hiding his face in his hand, but he looked up again, his face very white when she started to tell him of the only time when the Master touched her without his gloves. Always in the dark, his hands gentle, the only time she felt his skin against hers, cool against her back. When he whispered a name in her ear, a name that wasn’t hers-
Suddenly the Doctor leapt at her, his hands touching her temples and his voice boomed in her head “Be quiet!!”
She stopped mid-sentence. There was only a ringing silence in her head now where it had been filled with the need to tell the Doctor everything. He backed away from her, shaking, his face strained.
“I am sorry, Liz. It was an unforgivable intrusion after what you have been through, but I had to stop you.”
Liz felt oddly empty. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad I don’t have to tell you anything more.”
There was a short silence and then she wrapped the Brigadier’s coat tighter around her. “Well, I guess I should go to the sickbay then.”
“Sit down, Liz.”
She sat down at once and saw the Doctor wince at her obedience, but she couldn’t help herself.
“I’ll let you go in a minute, Liz, but you have to tell me something first. When I come to visit you tomorrow, can you promise me that no one will tell me that Miss Shaw found razor blades, or a convenient belt or too many sleeping pills during the night?”
Liz face felt stiff. She knew she was supposed to smile now and tell him not to be silly and of course not, how could he evens think something like that but the Master whispered in her head; “No lies, Miss Shaw.”
“I can’t promise that.” Liz said instead. She looked down on her hands, her fingers twisting together in her lap. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what he made me do. Made me do and made me like it. Love it. Made me love him. Do you want to know what I did when he told me to go to you? I begged him to let me stay. I fell on my knees and begged him, just like he said I would.”
She looked up at the Doctor. “I know you must despise me now. I do.”
The Doctor’s eyes were very warm and very kind. “No, Liz, I don’t and I never will. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He took your dreams and twisted them, but that is not your fault. He has been messing with your mind for a long time and he is very good at that. I can’t even comprehend how many layers and knots he has planted in your head, but I do know that he never really intended to let you be free of him. If you leave now, then he has already killed you, leaving the dirty work to you be done by yourself.
“But I can’t stand this!”
“I know,” he said gently. “I know. The Master’s plans are always vicious and complicated, but sometimes, I’m afraid, they work out too well. But I can do something about it.”
“What can you do?”
The Doctor dragged his chair closer to hers, taking her hand. “I have nothing like the skill of the Master when it comes to matters of the mind. I can’t remove your memories of what happened, but I can take away what you feel about it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will still remember everything that has happened, but it will feel like it didn’t happen to you, but about someone else. You are a kind and warm-hearted woman so you will still feel some pain, but not more than your natural empathy for others would make you feel and it will recede with time.”
Liz thought she understood what he meant. “And what I feel now will just be gone?”
The Doctor looked away. “Not gone, exactly. They have to go somewhere or they would leak back to you. I will take them into my mind.”
Liz eyes narrowed in suspicion. “And what would that make to you.”
He still avoided looking at her, his face very grim. “It will be my feelings.”
“It will be as if it all happened to you?”
“I’m afraid so, yes.”
“Then I won’t let you.”
“You have to, or it will kill you. I am a Time Lord, I can carry this burden. I know I can, Liz, because I done it before. I know it will hurt, but believe me; it will hurt so much more if you die. You will have your life back and knowing that will make it easier for me.”
Liz looked at his serious face and was filled with a horrible realisation. “It’s not the first time he has done this!”
“No, it’s not.”
And Liz thought though she didn’t say it loud; how many times has he made you carry someone else’s pain like this?
“Please, Liz. He made you a target because you are my friend and now you have to let me help you. I’m not pretending it won’t be hard for me, but I will be all right.”
She looked at him for a long time. To believe that all the hurt and pain inside her could go away, that seemed utterly impossible to her, but then the Doctor could do the impossible, she already knew that.
“I don’t want to be his tool to hurt you,” she whispered.
“I know. If there was any other way, I would choose that. Please Liz, let me help you.”
At long last she nodded, and the Doctor rose, still holding her hand. “Let’s go inside the TARDIS, it will help. A little, at least.”
Inside he faced her, looking more serious than she had ever seen him. He took her hands, placing her fingertips at his temples, and then doing the same. He leaned his head forward so their foreheads touched.
“It will be painful, Liz, but it’s the last time, I promise.”
It began. Liz could never exactly comprehend what had happened later. Her mind was flooded by memories and feelings and she thought she screamed out aloud, but later thought it was just in her mind. The Doctor screamed as well, but perhaps his screams were as silent as hers. Too many feelings, too many memories at the same time and the world tilted and for some time she wasn’t aware of her body or her surroundings. She came to, finding she was kneeling on the floor with the Doctor, each clinging to the other as if they were drowning.
Liz leaned back, searching the Doctor’s face. It was grey, the colour of ash and he looked deadly tired. His eyes swirled, unable to focus, and she shook him gently.
“Doctor, how are you?”
He managed to look at her at last. “I’m fine Liz. At least I will be if you give me a moment.”
But when he finally rose he was so unsteady that he had to lean on her, then grabbing the TARDIS console for support.
“How do you feel, Liz?”
“I feel strange. I remember everything, but it seems so far away now.” She paused, trying to comprehend her own feelings. “It is as you say; it feels like it never happened to me. How odd.”
A ghost of a smile flickered in the corner of his mouth. “Good. That’s how you should feel.”
The memory of feelings no longer felt danced through her mind nevertheless and Liz felt a bit nauseous knowing that they weren’t simply gone, just re-located. She looked at the Doctor in worry. “I don’t think I can never thank you enough for this. What can I do to help you?”
The flicker evolved into shaky smile, and his eyes twinkled faintly. “You can go and make the Brigadier happy with a visit to the sickbay. I need to rest in the TARDIS, tell them that I am not to be disturbed.”
“But will you be all right?”
“I will. It will take a little time, but I will. Don’t worry about me, I always come down on my feet, just like a cat, don’t you know?”
He slowly let go of the console and disappeared into the TARDIS. Liz waited until he was gone before she left as well.
The End
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Doctor Who, I just play with them for fun.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Character: The Master (Delgado), Elizabeth Shaw, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, The Third Doctor
Pairing: The Master/Elizabeth Shaw
Length: Chapter 4/4
Rating: R
Warnings: For this chapter, aftermath of abuse, for the fic in general; BDSM, NC
Summary: After Elizabeth Shaw has left the Doctor she is contacted by an intriguing stranger who she thinks wants her scientific expertise, but in reality he wants far more.
AN: Exit the Master; enter the Brigadier and finally, the Doctor. For Liz things get a bit better. I hope you have enjoyed my story, even if it is a rather dark, personally I had great fun writing it.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Liz stood up, her motions slow and stiff as the sound of a TARDIS leaving died away. She blinked away the tears and looked around her. It was cold, and the ground was frozen, here and there spotted with patches of snow. Not May anymore, but if it was months since she had last been on Earth, or years, she couldn’t know. She only knew that she was meant to find the Doctor, so whatever year she had arrived at, he must still be around. She spotted a road and went down to it, looking around as she did so to see if she recognized her surroundings. She rather thought it was the road to UNIT and as her clothes were much too thin for the weather, she assumed that someone would come soon. The Master may not care for her comfort, but he certainly wouldn’t want her to freeze to death before she had reached the Doctor.
So she started to walk in the direction she thought was the right one and within a few minutes a car passed her, only to stop abruptly with screeching brakes. A man jumped out and ran toward her and to Liz relief she saw that it was the Brigadier, looking very much the same as he had when she last saw him.
“Miss Shaw, Liz!” He cried. “It’s you!” He looked at her with relief and worry, removing his greatcoat, wrapping it around her, so she was suddenly engulfed in warmth and a fleeting scent of eau de cologne and then she was whisked into the car.
“I need to see the Doctor,” Liz told the Brigadier, and he nodded.
“We are not far from UNIT; I’ll take you to him as soon as we arrive.” His look of worried concern deepened, and he reached for her cold hands, rubbing them softly. They were so warm; she had forgotten how warm human hands were.
“Are you all right, Miss Shaw?”
No, she thought, but she only said “How long have I been gone?”
“Seven months. Is that how long it has been for you too?.”
“I don’t know. Do I look different?”
The Brigadier frowned in a way that told her she had changed a lot, but he only said. “You don’t look older. But I think I should take you to sickbay first before you see the Doctor. You don’t look well at all.”
“No!” Panic roared awake in an instant. “I must see the Doctor. As soon as possible.”
He backed instantly, clearly alarmed by the rising hysteria in her voice. “All right, all right, the Doctor first. But the sickbay after, Miss Shaw, I insist.”
He raised a hand and put it on her shoulder, meant for comfort, she supposed, but Liz couldn’t stop herself from flinching away and the Brigadier snatched back his arm. “Miss Shaw, what did he do to you?”
But she just shook her head, and he didn’t insist and no one said anything more the last few minutes of the car ride.
At UNIT she was ushered through the well-known corridors, the Brigadier hovered over her shoulder as she near-ran to the Doctor’s laboratory. He and the wide-eyed child Jo was leaning over some contraption, but both looked up in alarm when she burst in through the door. Jo’s face split in a delighted grin, but the Doctor looked very grave. As soon as Liz saw him, words started to spill from her mouth. She talked fast, telling the Doctor everything that had happened to her since the day she had first met the Master.
The Doctor’s look of dread deepened and he turned to The Brigadier and Jo. “Out, both of you. And no listening at the door either. I want to be completely alone with Liz and do not disturb us!”
They reluctantly left, and the Brigadier turned to say something, but the Doctor closed the door in his face. He locked it carefully before turned back to Liz. She had not stopped speaking; there was so much to tell him.
“Stop it Liz,” he begged, but she couldn’t.
He walked to and fro in the room, clearly agitated by her story and asked her again to stop. Liz poured out her story, stumbling over her word, but never pausing. Eventually the Doctor sat, hiding his face in his hand, but he looked up again, his face very white when she started to tell him of the only time when the Master touched her without his gloves. Always in the dark, his hands gentle, the only time she felt his skin against hers, cool against her back. When he whispered a name in her ear, a name that wasn’t hers-
Suddenly the Doctor leapt at her, his hands touching her temples and his voice boomed in her head “Be quiet!!”
She stopped mid-sentence. There was only a ringing silence in her head now where it had been filled with the need to tell the Doctor everything. He backed away from her, shaking, his face strained.
“I am sorry, Liz. It was an unforgivable intrusion after what you have been through, but I had to stop you.”
Liz felt oddly empty. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad I don’t have to tell you anything more.”
There was a short silence and then she wrapped the Brigadier’s coat tighter around her. “Well, I guess I should go to the sickbay then.”
“Sit down, Liz.”
She sat down at once and saw the Doctor wince at her obedience, but she couldn’t help herself.
“I’ll let you go in a minute, Liz, but you have to tell me something first. When I come to visit you tomorrow, can you promise me that no one will tell me that Miss Shaw found razor blades, or a convenient belt or too many sleeping pills during the night?”
Liz face felt stiff. She knew she was supposed to smile now and tell him not to be silly and of course not, how could he evens think something like that but the Master whispered in her head; “No lies, Miss Shaw.”
“I can’t promise that.” Liz said instead. She looked down on her hands, her fingers twisting together in her lap. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what he made me do. Made me do and made me like it. Love it. Made me love him. Do you want to know what I did when he told me to go to you? I begged him to let me stay. I fell on my knees and begged him, just like he said I would.”
She looked up at the Doctor. “I know you must despise me now. I do.”
The Doctor’s eyes were very warm and very kind. “No, Liz, I don’t and I never will. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He took your dreams and twisted them, but that is not your fault. He has been messing with your mind for a long time and he is very good at that. I can’t even comprehend how many layers and knots he has planted in your head, but I do know that he never really intended to let you be free of him. If you leave now, then he has already killed you, leaving the dirty work to you be done by yourself.
“But I can’t stand this!”
“I know,” he said gently. “I know. The Master’s plans are always vicious and complicated, but sometimes, I’m afraid, they work out too well. But I can do something about it.”
“What can you do?”
The Doctor dragged his chair closer to hers, taking her hand. “I have nothing like the skill of the Master when it comes to matters of the mind. I can’t remove your memories of what happened, but I can take away what you feel about it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will still remember everything that has happened, but it will feel like it didn’t happen to you, but about someone else. You are a kind and warm-hearted woman so you will still feel some pain, but not more than your natural empathy for others would make you feel and it will recede with time.”
Liz thought she understood what he meant. “And what I feel now will just be gone?”
The Doctor looked away. “Not gone, exactly. They have to go somewhere or they would leak back to you. I will take them into my mind.”
Liz eyes narrowed in suspicion. “And what would that make to you.”
He still avoided looking at her, his face very grim. “It will be my feelings.”
“It will be as if it all happened to you?”
“I’m afraid so, yes.”
“Then I won’t let you.”
“You have to, or it will kill you. I am a Time Lord, I can carry this burden. I know I can, Liz, because I done it before. I know it will hurt, but believe me; it will hurt so much more if you die. You will have your life back and knowing that will make it easier for me.”
Liz looked at his serious face and was filled with a horrible realisation. “It’s not the first time he has done this!”
“No, it’s not.”
And Liz thought though she didn’t say it loud; how many times has he made you carry someone else’s pain like this?
“Please, Liz. He made you a target because you are my friend and now you have to let me help you. I’m not pretending it won’t be hard for me, but I will be all right.”
She looked at him for a long time. To believe that all the hurt and pain inside her could go away, that seemed utterly impossible to her, but then the Doctor could do the impossible, she already knew that.
“I don’t want to be his tool to hurt you,” she whispered.
“I know. If there was any other way, I would choose that. Please Liz, let me help you.”
At long last she nodded, and the Doctor rose, still holding her hand. “Let’s go inside the TARDIS, it will help. A little, at least.”
Inside he faced her, looking more serious than she had ever seen him. He took her hands, placing her fingertips at his temples, and then doing the same. He leaned his head forward so their foreheads touched.
“It will be painful, Liz, but it’s the last time, I promise.”
It began. Liz could never exactly comprehend what had happened later. Her mind was flooded by memories and feelings and she thought she screamed out aloud, but later thought it was just in her mind. The Doctor screamed as well, but perhaps his screams were as silent as hers. Too many feelings, too many memories at the same time and the world tilted and for some time she wasn’t aware of her body or her surroundings. She came to, finding she was kneeling on the floor with the Doctor, each clinging to the other as if they were drowning.
Liz leaned back, searching the Doctor’s face. It was grey, the colour of ash and he looked deadly tired. His eyes swirled, unable to focus, and she shook him gently.
“Doctor, how are you?”
He managed to look at her at last. “I’m fine Liz. At least I will be if you give me a moment.”
But when he finally rose he was so unsteady that he had to lean on her, then grabbing the TARDIS console for support.
“How do you feel, Liz?”
“I feel strange. I remember everything, but it seems so far away now.” She paused, trying to comprehend her own feelings. “It is as you say; it feels like it never happened to me. How odd.”
A ghost of a smile flickered in the corner of his mouth. “Good. That’s how you should feel.”
The memory of feelings no longer felt danced through her mind nevertheless and Liz felt a bit nauseous knowing that they weren’t simply gone, just re-located. She looked at the Doctor in worry. “I don’t think I can never thank you enough for this. What can I do to help you?”
The flicker evolved into shaky smile, and his eyes twinkled faintly. “You can go and make the Brigadier happy with a visit to the sickbay. I need to rest in the TARDIS, tell them that I am not to be disturbed.”
“But will you be all right?”
“I will. It will take a little time, but I will. Don’t worry about me, I always come down on my feet, just like a cat, don’t you know?”
He slowly let go of the console and disappeared into the TARDIS. Liz waited until he was gone before she left as well.
The End
