On writing
Mar. 20th, 2015 08:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scripsiI compiled a masterlist for my Peter Pan fics today, I have been writing for eleven years now and those fics were they first I wrote. I have re-read them all and it amazes me what a long journey I have been travelled.
I thought my life was pretty good eleven years ago. I had a long-time boyfriend, a little kid and a job I liked. There were those episodes of depression, but I worked hard to not think about that. I worked hard not to think about a lot of things. Then I started to write.
It went from not having written for years to frantically writing every free moment I had and thinking about writing when I couldn't actually write, which was fairly often as small children need a lot of care. It was so strange and looking back I can't believe how it could take me such a long time to realise that what I was doing was self-therapy. I wrote practically non-stop for 18 months. By the end of that time I still had a little kid, but the rest was gone. No relationship, no work, but also no more depression. I didn't stop writing, but I didn't felt the urgent need to write and I was busy re-building my life into the life I really wanted, so it was pretty much put on the back-burner..
And I got it. I met my husband and I got a better job. The kid is well, but also a teenager and a very independent one as that. On the whole, things are better than I could ever imagine they could be eleven years ago.
I got the urge to start writing again a couple of months ago when I lost a relative, but I'm starting to feel I have got a bit of a balance again. And I have got into the habit of writing again. I don't feel the frenzy anymore, instead I have started to give me time to write for an hour or so every time. It feels pretty wonderful, I can tell you. And though I still write things off my chest and feel better for it, and I still like to write darker stuff, I find that I can also write things that are lighter and funnier and that feels good too.
In short, I'm glad to be back writing and that I have found a couple of new friends that I can fandom obesess with. I don't think I will stop writing again now, because there is actually a place for it in my life and not just snatched moment.
I thought my life was pretty good eleven years ago. I had a long-time boyfriend, a little kid and a job I liked. There were those episodes of depression, but I worked hard to not think about that. I worked hard not to think about a lot of things. Then I started to write.
It went from not having written for years to frantically writing every free moment I had and thinking about writing when I couldn't actually write, which was fairly often as small children need a lot of care. It was so strange and looking back I can't believe how it could take me such a long time to realise that what I was doing was self-therapy. I wrote practically non-stop for 18 months. By the end of that time I still had a little kid, but the rest was gone. No relationship, no work, but also no more depression. I didn't stop writing, but I didn't felt the urgent need to write and I was busy re-building my life into the life I really wanted, so it was pretty much put on the back-burner..
And I got it. I met my husband and I got a better job. The kid is well, but also a teenager and a very independent one as that. On the whole, things are better than I could ever imagine they could be eleven years ago.
I got the urge to start writing again a couple of months ago when I lost a relative, but I'm starting to feel I have got a bit of a balance again. And I have got into the habit of writing again. I don't feel the frenzy anymore, instead I have started to give me time to write for an hour or so every time. It feels pretty wonderful, I can tell you. And though I still write things off my chest and feel better for it, and I still like to write darker stuff, I find that I can also write things that are lighter and funnier and that feels good too.
In short, I'm glad to be back writing and that I have found a couple of new friends that I can fandom obesess with. I don't think I will stop writing again now, because there is actually a place for it in my life and not just snatched moment.
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no subject
Date: 2015-03-21 12:40 pm (UTC)It really does. :)
It seemed to get you through the worst. Now it is time for you to write at your best...
Indeed!