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scripsiI have finished fic!
Title: A Conversation in the Yellow Drawing-Room, And Other Letters To Mrs Strange
Fandom: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Genre Drama
Rating: Teen and up
Characters: Emma Pole, John Childermass, John Segundus, Stephen Black
Pairings: Emma Pole/John Childermass
Chapters: 6/6
Words: 1123
Summary: Lady Pole writes a letter to her friend Mrs Strange about an unexpected encounter.
The whole fic on AO3
My dearest friend,
So you are finally coming home! I can’t wait to see your dear face again and to hear from your lips every adventure you have had since we last saw each other. And for me to tell you everything I have not already penned down. And I look forward to meeting Miss Greysteel whom I already love for being such a good friend to you. I understand the Greysteels have invited you to continue to stay with them, but you know you have a home here too. And under any circumstances, you must at least come to visit! There is a room ready and waiting here for you!
As I predicted my adventures ended with a most dreadful cold. And do you know, I don’t think I ever had a cold in my life. I was always ill before, and then I was never ill at all. A common cold has been a novel if unpleasant, experience. I put myself under Pampisford’s tender mercies and have stoically endured all her remedies; even the strangest ones. I even allowed her to call a doctor, who, thankfully, seemed to find my ailment negligible. At least Pampisford seems to have forgiven me for the scandalous way (in her opinion) I contracted my cold.
Being confined to bed I sent my friends home again. There were certain things I wanted to discuss with Mr Childermass, but a sore throat and a running nose do not make one inclined for serious conversations. Though I wanted to talk with him with some urgency to settle what there is, or isn’t, between us, I had to wait. I can tell you that when Pampisford complained over me being fidgety and short-tempered when the cold finally gave up but I still had to endure a few more days of rest, it was not only because I was tired of being ill!
But the day before yesterday I felt fully restored again and went to York. I was very nervous. You can only ever be certain of your own heart, and even that can be difficult at times. In all my missives to you, I have never said I’m in love with Mr Childermass, because I have not known if that was what I was feeling.
I have never loved a man before. I found Sir Walter’s suit more than tolerable, but most of its appeal lay in the longing to become a woman instead of my mother’s daughter, and free from her views and smothering affections. Perhaps I would have learned to love him if we had been allowed to shape our marriage to suit us, but we never had the chance. I have read about love many times, but what I feel for Mr Childermass differs greatly from the chaste passions the star-crossed lovers professed in those books. At times I have thought my feelings only those of friendship, then I think of dear Segundus and Honeyfoot, both of which I hold in the deepest affection, and I realise what I feel for Mr Childermass can’t compare. He has been my good friend through all of this, but it is certainly not all I want.
But even if my heart spoke more clearly I could not, however much I wanted to, be certain if Mr Childermass feelings for me was only the result of the enchantment. Many times while I recuperated I thought it must be so. He came to my aid because he is a decent man who, I believe, will always try to help those in need, even if his outward character seems so indifferent. Perhaps it was bolstered by the effect of the enchantment, and if so it was the only good thing which came out of it. But I could not know if he still held me in any affection. Respect and friendship I think I will always have, but it was not the only thing I wanted from him, and I was terrified polite indifference would greet me on our next meeting.
I went to York in a state of some agitation; but also determination. I felt that regardless of the outcome it would be a relief to know for certain, be it good or bad. But in the end, my fears came to naught. Mr Childermass must have known I was coming this time because he opened the door before I had even raised my hand to knock. For a moment we looked at each other; my tongue refusing to say words I had rehearsed. I reached out my hand instead; he took it, and suddenly I was in his arms. I did not need to ask if he still wanted to kiss me before I was kissed. I did not know a kiss could make you burn like that.
And now, darling Arabella, I know your face is burning. Fear not, my forthrightness does not extend to a more detailed description of what happened next. I will only say I could find no faults about the state of Mr Childermass sheets.
I’m happy. Happier than I can ever recall being before. Dear friend, I know a liason like this offends all your moral sensibilities, but I’m sure you can feel a little happiness in it, for my sake. It will remain a secret, one only you are privy of, and I have no wish to cause a scandal. Even if I one day would be free to marry again, I won’t. To live my life on my own terms is a luxury I will not grow tired of. And I’m busy to live it! I have decided to make an offer to buy Rosehill, and I have grand plans for the garden. And though I have come to it with much reluctance, I have to admit I have a knack for magic after all, and I still have much to learn. I only want to share a portion of my time with a man I love and who love me in return. To be with someone I can be silent with, or not, and both will be equally pleasurable. And as Mr Childermass has no hankering for the married life either, and is quite busy with his own life, I think we will suit each other very well.
This will be my last letter to you before you return. Hurry up, my dear, hurry. We have so much to talk about, and so much to do. Between us we have plenty of accomplishments, and we will have the help and support of several capable magicians. We will find a way to get Mr Strange home to you again, of that I am sure.
Farewell my dear, until we see each other again.
Emma.
Title: A Conversation in the Yellow Drawing-Room, And Other Letters To Mrs Strange
Fandom: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Genre Drama
Rating: Teen and up
Characters: Emma Pole, John Childermass, John Segundus, Stephen Black
Pairings: Emma Pole/John Childermass
Chapters: 6/6
Words: 1123
Summary: Lady Pole writes a letter to her friend Mrs Strange about an unexpected encounter.
The whole fic on AO3
My dearest friend,
So you are finally coming home! I can’t wait to see your dear face again and to hear from your lips every adventure you have had since we last saw each other. And for me to tell you everything I have not already penned down. And I look forward to meeting Miss Greysteel whom I already love for being such a good friend to you. I understand the Greysteels have invited you to continue to stay with them, but you know you have a home here too. And under any circumstances, you must at least come to visit! There is a room ready and waiting here for you!
As I predicted my adventures ended with a most dreadful cold. And do you know, I don’t think I ever had a cold in my life. I was always ill before, and then I was never ill at all. A common cold has been a novel if unpleasant, experience. I put myself under Pampisford’s tender mercies and have stoically endured all her remedies; even the strangest ones. I even allowed her to call a doctor, who, thankfully, seemed to find my ailment negligible. At least Pampisford seems to have forgiven me for the scandalous way (in her opinion) I contracted my cold.
Being confined to bed I sent my friends home again. There were certain things I wanted to discuss with Mr Childermass, but a sore throat and a running nose do not make one inclined for serious conversations. Though I wanted to talk with him with some urgency to settle what there is, or isn’t, between us, I had to wait. I can tell you that when Pampisford complained over me being fidgety and short-tempered when the cold finally gave up but I still had to endure a few more days of rest, it was not only because I was tired of being ill!
But the day before yesterday I felt fully restored again and went to York. I was very nervous. You can only ever be certain of your own heart, and even that can be difficult at times. In all my missives to you, I have never said I’m in love with Mr Childermass, because I have not known if that was what I was feeling.
I have never loved a man before. I found Sir Walter’s suit more than tolerable, but most of its appeal lay in the longing to become a woman instead of my mother’s daughter, and free from her views and smothering affections. Perhaps I would have learned to love him if we had been allowed to shape our marriage to suit us, but we never had the chance. I have read about love many times, but what I feel for Mr Childermass differs greatly from the chaste passions the star-crossed lovers professed in those books. At times I have thought my feelings only those of friendship, then I think of dear Segundus and Honeyfoot, both of which I hold in the deepest affection, and I realise what I feel for Mr Childermass can’t compare. He has been my good friend through all of this, but it is certainly not all I want.
But even if my heart spoke more clearly I could not, however much I wanted to, be certain if Mr Childermass feelings for me was only the result of the enchantment. Many times while I recuperated I thought it must be so. He came to my aid because he is a decent man who, I believe, will always try to help those in need, even if his outward character seems so indifferent. Perhaps it was bolstered by the effect of the enchantment, and if so it was the only good thing which came out of it. But I could not know if he still held me in any affection. Respect and friendship I think I will always have, but it was not the only thing I wanted from him, and I was terrified polite indifference would greet me on our next meeting.
I went to York in a state of some agitation; but also determination. I felt that regardless of the outcome it would be a relief to know for certain, be it good or bad. But in the end, my fears came to naught. Mr Childermass must have known I was coming this time because he opened the door before I had even raised my hand to knock. For a moment we looked at each other; my tongue refusing to say words I had rehearsed. I reached out my hand instead; he took it, and suddenly I was in his arms. I did not need to ask if he still wanted to kiss me before I was kissed. I did not know a kiss could make you burn like that.
And now, darling Arabella, I know your face is burning. Fear not, my forthrightness does not extend to a more detailed description of what happened next. I will only say I could find no faults about the state of Mr Childermass sheets.
I’m happy. Happier than I can ever recall being before. Dear friend, I know a liason like this offends all your moral sensibilities, but I’m sure you can feel a little happiness in it, for my sake. It will remain a secret, one only you are privy of, and I have no wish to cause a scandal. Even if I one day would be free to marry again, I won’t. To live my life on my own terms is a luxury I will not grow tired of. And I’m busy to live it! I have decided to make an offer to buy Rosehill, and I have grand plans for the garden. And though I have come to it with much reluctance, I have to admit I have a knack for magic after all, and I still have much to learn. I only want to share a portion of my time with a man I love and who love me in return. To be with someone I can be silent with, or not, and both will be equally pleasurable. And as Mr Childermass has no hankering for the married life either, and is quite busy with his own life, I think we will suit each other very well.
This will be my last letter to you before you return. Hurry up, my dear, hurry. We have so much to talk about, and so much to do. Between us we have plenty of accomplishments, and we will have the help and support of several capable magicians. We will find a way to get Mr Strange home to you again, of that I am sure.
Farewell my dear, until we see each other again.
Emma.
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Date: 2018-11-09 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-17 06:21 am (UTC)