The Snowflake Challenge; Day 14

[scripsi]

Day 14

In your own space, share your love for something fannish: a trope, cliché, kink, motif, theme, format, or fandom.

Well, I guess anyone who has read more than a few of my fanfics can spot that a lot of what I have written lean towards fic with darker themes. And over the years I have been called “sick” and “twisted” and someone who must be an awful person or hate other women. It doesn’t hurt me, because I know I’m a fairly nice person. I have a good life with a great family, loyal friends, a loving partner and a child who is harmonic and happy. I doubt I would have all this if I had been this horrible person some people think I am. But I get a little frustrated, because I find it frustrating with people who can’t look beyond what they feel are the best and think they have the right to be judgemental towards those who doesn’t do it the same way.

So why then, do I feel the need to write darkfic?

Because it cathartic. Shakespeare wouldn’t have written his tragedies if people hadn’t enjoyed them. A sad ending can give you a good cry, and a good cry relieved the body of built up stress. But a sad ending in a story doesn’t impact your life in the same way as when something sad happens in your life. In a story you can get the good cry and then leave it behind.

Because it’s healing. I have been raped and I have been in a psychologically abusing relationship. I dealt (badly) with this for many years with pushing all those memories away. When I started to write fanfic it all started to pour out of me and I’m convinced I would never have been able to deal and leave those things behind me without writing. I write about rape because it’s a way to turn around what it did to me and do something creative instead. I have the power over what I write, not anyone else. And I’m afraid of a certain type of men, those who use and abuse the people around them with manipulations and mind games. So I write about such people in an effort to understand them. Not so I can excuse them, but because it gives me room to explore ways to not be used again.

Of course I understand that this is not true for everyone and that many people don’t want to read such things. That’s why I’m a bit paranoid about warnings because I really don’t want to give someone a triggering experience. But for me writing, and reading, darkfic has been a great help.

Comments

[scripsi]

I'm sure that given your concern you make sure your dark fic is labelled appropriately.

Oh yes! I probably over-warn at times, but better safe than sorry!

I had a similar experience a few months back. I got an extremely hostile review and my first though was that I had somehow missed the wearnings. But when I checked it had the proper rating and it had warnings in the summary, the tags and in a special AN. That person then went on to attack several fics and even found me on Deviantart and continued, even if the art there was not in the least risque. There was also a lot of rambling on how I choose to portray a character as a bad guy was all wrong, though in canon that is just what he is.

I was very tempted to ask why on earth they had read the fics if they found the themes and rating so horrible, but I didn't. But checking their Beviantart page I gathered it must have been a very young and/or imature person who only wanted things wrapped in fluffy pink clouds.

Continue to be brave. People might benefit from reading the fic just as much as you do from writing it.

Thank you! And yes, that happens from time to time, which makes me very happy!